Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Life.

Oh gosh, I really don't know where to begin, other than this month has been a really tough one...

It all started a few weeks ago when I got into a VERY unnessesary argument with one of my well-cherished friends whom I suppose thought I lacked trust in... (this was all over a guy, if it makes it sound any more stupid) Well, turns out, I ended up destroying a perfectly good friendship as it was... I completely disregarded everything we built up and demolished it right down to the blistering core... Needless to say, our friendship probably won't ever be like it was before, which is really sad... I've almost basically lost all touch with the outside world and am pretty much in my own little world. I guess it's a good thing, but it's also disconnected me from the ones I supposedly am told to love, such as my family, friends, etc.

I know that sounds completely disgusting... the fact that I added in the phrase "I supposedly am told" before the word love. But in all honesty, I'd actually rather be alone... I'd actually rather be by myself sharing the beauty of "strange-ness" with others, however, not getting too close...

I'll forever and always be a people person, talking to strangers, buying old loopy women candy bars, reading to the old folks, and making eye contact with random people on the street while cracking a soft smile... That's who I'll always be. Sure, I'll get to know them, but I won't really want to start deep relationships with them... I'm an introvert when it comes to that.


Anyway, time's almost up. To be continued...


K, so I'm back. Ha ha. After a long-needed confrontation with my mom... whew.

So anyway, I'm kind of just on my own path, wanting to be left alone, trying to understand the real meaning of life...

I was actually just thinking as I was reading a book by the Dalai Lama, what if life was just a really REALLY big accident? Hmmmmm....

1 comment:

dr. acula said...

i know what you mean when you say you like being alone. i find that when i'm by myself, i have much more time to ponder and imagine things... almost like exercising my imagination and my mind.