Friday, June 27, 2008

VEGAS!

So, in about five minutes, I'm going to be off to LAS VEGAS!

I don't really know what to expect, other than what my mom informed me of.
LOTS of lights...
LOTS of hookers...
LOTS of sunshine...
LOTS of casinos...
etc. etc. etc.

But considering I'm the skyscraper type, I don't know if I'll like it as much as I think I will...

Oh well, it's big, and it has lights, and it's a city.

That's all that really matters, I s'pose.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

writer's block

Gosh I have no idea what to write without making it sound ignorant and naive....


help.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Breathe me

June 23, 2008 appx. 1:00 pm

Note: Just finished eating foot long meatball marinara sandwich & a diet coke split with mother.

Coffee, I am drinking. It has approximately 3 packets of french-vanilla creamer in it, and I am perfectly content with that. I am waiting here... here on this floral-print sofa in the hospital. I am listening to French pop.
*Sip, sip*
mmm, a little strong, but I can manage. Once I start writing, I can just go off on whatever tangent I please. It's easy, see? So how about that feud between Bill O'Reilly and Keith Olbermann, eh? The typical conservative vs. liberal argument.
*Sip again*
*Glance, glance*
*Scribble, scribble*
I'm listening to the receptionist talk to someone on the phone.
*Click*
She hangs up.
*Sip*
Brain wandering off topic...
Tangents... a mathematical term, as well as a term to describe spontinaety of one's speaking of a certain topic. This conversation being between me and this piece of blinding white paper.
*Sip*
I glance at my shoe.
I scratch my nose.
It still itches.
Left nostril, to be stiffly precise.
I enjoy writing, especially about nonsesne things, such as this.
Mmm, quite.
This song I'm listening to, really does NOT make sense at all.
*Sip*
Mmmm... a little watery. Oh well.My mood is relieved, and I can't tell you why, exactly. It would begin to be a little awkward, you see.
*Chatter, chatter*
Violin... guitar....
*Sip, again*
*Sip. Sip. Sip*
*GULP*
mmm, quite tasty actually.
My brain is like a sponge, Sandy said. I must agree without second thought. She is right.
*Sip*
I would love to publish my life in a book. That would be great. I don't think anyone would buy it though. I wonder who would buy it? Who would possibly be interested in what I have to say? Perhaps those who are like me...
*Sip*

Friday, June 13, 2008

Mom

So my mom and I had kind of a discussion last night, and I kind of boiled over on her...

She doesn't want my sister to know that I've smoked pot, and of course, me questioning authority, asked "Well why the hell not?"

She replied with a less than pleased response. "She doesn't need to know about that, Molly. She's only thirteen and it's not her business to know. Plus, I don't want her to think it's okay and I don't want it to ruin her life like it did yours."

Wait, what?


WHAT?!

Why do parents shelter their children from the truth like my mom does my sister?
WHY?! How does that help them in any way to shape their lives? Well, apparently around some dreamy amazing amusment-park world where you have fun and never worry about anything.
Can we be real here?

Honestly, what is the problem? Why? WHY.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Life.

Oh gosh, I really don't know where to begin, other than this month has been a really tough one...

It all started a few weeks ago when I got into a VERY unnessesary argument with one of my well-cherished friends whom I suppose thought I lacked trust in... (this was all over a guy, if it makes it sound any more stupid) Well, turns out, I ended up destroying a perfectly good friendship as it was... I completely disregarded everything we built up and demolished it right down to the blistering core... Needless to say, our friendship probably won't ever be like it was before, which is really sad... I've almost basically lost all touch with the outside world and am pretty much in my own little world. I guess it's a good thing, but it's also disconnected me from the ones I supposedly am told to love, such as my family, friends, etc.

I know that sounds completely disgusting... the fact that I added in the phrase "I supposedly am told" before the word love. But in all honesty, I'd actually rather be alone... I'd actually rather be by myself sharing the beauty of "strange-ness" with others, however, not getting too close...

I'll forever and always be a people person, talking to strangers, buying old loopy women candy bars, reading to the old folks, and making eye contact with random people on the street while cracking a soft smile... That's who I'll always be. Sure, I'll get to know them, but I won't really want to start deep relationships with them... I'm an introvert when it comes to that.


Anyway, time's almost up. To be continued...


K, so I'm back. Ha ha. After a long-needed confrontation with my mom... whew.

So anyway, I'm kind of just on my own path, wanting to be left alone, trying to understand the real meaning of life...

I was actually just thinking as I was reading a book by the Dalai Lama, what if life was just a really REALLY big accident? Hmmmmm....

Friday, June 6, 2008

Owen Barfield

Hmm... Owen Barfield...

I'm reading a book eloquently written by him right now, titled "The Rediscovery of Meaning and Other Essays", and I've found that Owen Barfield really contradicts himself a lot in that novel... He's really confusing, mostly just because he uses words I don't really now. Ha ha... anyway, maybe that tells you a little bit about how I work.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Me.

Anyway, so I'm taking a bunch of personality tests right now, and they're all saying I'm extroverted, love to be around people, etc. etc. etc.


Well, sometimes I enjoy silence, yet no one really knows that about me. They all see this completely extroverted, outgoing, in-your-face Molly, when really, I'm way deeper than the mere surface people see on a daily basis. I'm independent, sometimes quiet believe it or not, and really really odd...


Objections?